Mostly, I work on remaining grateful for the moments and all I have – which always comes down to the basics, my kids, my hubby, my family, our health and our love.
I have to be honest because yes, I said “mostly”.
The other times I know I’m pushing too hard, I’ve got my head down forcing my way through the day, the situation. I’m not always allowing for a moment of weakness to appear because if it does it feels like it will all fall apart. If it does, will my children still feel safe, will our equilibrium be disrupted. What else will tumble down?
Isn’t it interesting that what came out when writing this was ‘weakness’. As mothers we feel that being vulnerable makes us weak and threatens our balance. But isn’t it vulnerability that made us open to love and to experience this incredible world of children?
The other day, in a moment of fear (from stress, health, finances, missed accomplishments), instead of honesty, I reverted to anger instead of tears. In that moment, what have I really taught them…sigh…
In my home we’ve always had an open policy with the boys. We never use baby words, we always answered questions honestly in age appropriate ways, and have been straight about life experiences.
But revealing a crack in mamas spirit - that’s a scary one! Understandably it is! I want and need to protect them.
Here is where my practice with #momflow comes right back at me. When feeling vulnerable, when feelings are bubbling up and about to take over, what can I do?
Breathe… always and always breathe.
I remind myself to remind myself that I am safe and loved and supported. I just need to reach out. What is really the extent of the issue? How bad is it really? Breathing it out I find the immensity of it all starts to simmer down.
Reach Out. Call a girlfriend. Just saying the words “am I going nuts?” Or “I need a break” or yes, even “help” and I find my support group envelope me in ways that always amaze me and lift me up higher.
Dance. Just put on a great song and dance it out - like in your clubbing days! Prince, Madonna, disco, or the Black Eyed Peas do it for me. Or I’ll start belting out a great big tune to the point where my boys are covering their ears, begging me to stop! This is such a great release and I know I should do this more often!
Cry it out - in a long hot shower it can flow and flow. Or with a glass of wine with a friend.
Take in the simple things. Just like this little drawing that I found in my notebook when I turned the page to write this post. This is priceless. Innocent drawings that jump out at the right time to remind me what’s really important. I have everything I need.
Reach out to me QueenBees -we are ready for a dance party!